Thinking of getting a tattoo? Kim Kardashian famously said, “Don’t put a bumper sticker on a Bentley.” I get her meaning and let’s face it– Kim K. makes millions on her bumper-sticker-free body. I don’t. I love self-expression and the story behind many tatts are heartwarming and meaningful. The best part is that it’s not just for sailors and biker dudes any more. However, there are a few things to consider before getting your first tatt…and all the ones that will follow!
Buzzfeed offers some great ideas on what to look for your first tatt. I’d like to add a little more, based on my own personal experience.
First, by all things holy, do NOT get someone’s name!! My first spouse’s name was “John”. He is an atheist. I literally thank the Lord that I could turn his name into, “John 14:2”, which I found to be a beautiful irony. My current husband’s name is “Vince”. No Bible verse to cover that one up, you know what I mean? If you do words at all, double, triple, quadruple, quintuple check the spelling. If your tattoo artist doesn’t catch the incorrect spelling, it’s on YOU. Forever. And literally…”on you, FOREVER…”.
Please, make your tattoos meaningful. Marvin the Martian is cute but what does he mean to you? And those pics of bacon? It’s old. Meaningful tatts never go out of style. Bacon does. Along those lines, tramp-stamps need to go away. It’s gross, Ladies. You know it is. Other gross tatts: ones that involve the belly button, armpit hair, and covered up swimsuit parts. Why do people do that? It’s rude, ugly, and not something I would like my kids to see if you and I are in the same shopping center. I know when you’re 19, some of those tatts seem sexy and/or funny. But a few years later when you’re firstborn comes along, do you really want to explain the expletive you got on your belly or knuckles?
From what I hear, laser tattoo removal can be costly and the pain is far worse than getting the tatt in the first place. So here are some ideas on creating a meaningful one. First, google it. Google “tattoo ideas” and see if something stimulates a mood or emotion you’re trying to capture. And just for good measure, google “tattoo fails” and let it sink in that you want a great tatt with an even better artist. We’ll get to that in a minute… back to creating your tatt. If you’re a parent, consider tattooing a picture your child drew. Or have them draw directly on you and have the artist go over it with really permanent ink. Anglelina Jolie tatted the coordinates to her kids’ birthplaces–very cool and original.
Stay tuned for more tattoo food-for-thought…
CJ Heath is the proud owner of a few tattoos, none of which are tramp stamps, nor do they incorporate armpit hair or her belly button. No, she does not worry about how they will look when she is 80.