I recently (as in last Thursday), had a major “light-bulb” moment in my life. But first, let me take you back.
In May of 2016, I had decided to find employment after 16 full years of being a stay-at-home mama. My kiddos decided to attend public school and close the chapter on our homeschooling experience. I was burned out and ready for change… I also needed a car after living here for four years without one. So with the encouragement of a beautiful friend of mine, I decided to work for a large corporate craft company. It could have been a dream come true for me since I consider myself a very crafty-licious person but what I found instead was that I couldn’t keep up with the demands of the workday. The daily tasks sent down from corporate were often impossible to complete, which caused stress every shift. After 3 months, I decided to try something else.
Next, I worked as a receptionist in a very successful spa/nail salon. Again, it seemed like it would be a very relaxed and pleasurable experience–which it was!–but not for me. I learned to envy the customers coming in, who were completely clueless about the madness behind-the-scenes, much like a 5-star restaurant with very happy and satisfied customers outside the kitchen, and very stressed out employees within. Overall, I enjoyed working with my Vietnamese friends and learned some of what it takes to run a successful business. However, I was constantly stressed on and off work and after 14 months, I decided to try something else.
My most recent job search led me to work for a financial advisor. Although we liked what we saw in each other initially, our opposing work attitudes and differing views on life, morals and social issues did not mesh well. I learned very quickly that the job was taking a lot out of me…in some ways, more than the salon did. After 3 short months, I decided to try something else.
So I signed up for college classes and quit my job–in that order.
The title of this article is a quote I found that puts into words what I was feeling, especially the frustration I was finding myself knee-deep in every working day with my employment experience over the last year and a half. The catalyst for my change was brought on by my lovely soul-friend, Holly. I have spoken to Holly a handful of times over the last 3 years, mostly when I feel like I’m at some sort of impasse, or when I need a “tune-up”. I feel like she has the ability to offer me spiritual eyeglasses that help bring into focus some of the things in my life that I can’t see clearly.
During our last phone call, she was able to sense/see that although I meant well and need a steady paycheck, I was losing my sense of self–especially in my last job. What she saw is that my souls is craving academics. I took a total leap of faith because I can tell you right now that I don’t like the pressures of reading hundreds of pages and writing countless papers before a short deadline. Still, I do like learning.
I have enjoyed my first week of school and really feel like I’m learning something. I’ll save what it feels like to be the oldest person in class for another blog! For now, I’m enjoying having my own schedule again, and not letting my brain atrophy by watching too much TV on my time off.
I couldn’t change what I was going through at work, but it certainly propelled me to change what my life experience is going to be over the next few weeks, months, and even years. For the first time in a long time, I feel excited about not knowing what’s coming next!
Writer Bio: CJ Heath
CJ is a jack-of-all-trades, grateful for all of her life experiences…even the ones that didn’t pan out over the long-term. She’d like to hear what life-changing decisions YOU made over the last few years of your life!