From the time a woman gazes into the eyes of her newborn child, she falls completely and totally in love. If the newborn is a son, she pictures him as a grown man, strong and virile and probably saving the world. If the child is a girl, then she is may picture a sweet, young woman tending a home with children of her own or a career woman with the world at her feet. In spite of how much we all deny it, mothers do tend to treat their sons differently than they will their little girls.
Does this mean that the relationship must undergo a strain as the child grows and the mother has to learn to slowly let go? Though they may deny it, as a mother, we do want to protect our daughters from the harsh things in life that can hurt them. It’s not that we love our sons less, but we take more comfort from the idea that a man can protect himself. A girl is also a strong individual, but as another woman, we know the ways that a woman can be hurt. It’s true that we all must go through a certain amount of pain, but if a mother can try to lessen the hard facts of life for her precious daughter, she will do all in her power to do so.
Sadly, so many mothers and daughters do go through a period of struggle while they try to find a way toward a different relationship. It’s so much easier when the child is young, we can wipe their tears and hug away most of their hurts, but when they reach the teen years, it is so much harder to know how to ease their pain without becoming controlling or coming across as being judgmental.
Many daughters also struggle with how to take their relationship with their mothers in a different direction. Young women want to be seen as strong, independent women who are respected for who and what they are, which is where the conflict comes in with mothers. There are mothers who seem to harbor a tendency to envy their adult daughters and may even allow jealousy to override their relationship. This will often drive the daughter away, and then the heartache of lost relationships can scar both mother and daughter for years.
In order to try to build a life-long and mature bond between mothers and daughters, both will need to exercise patience and understanding. If each can try to see the other’s point of view, that may help both to find the right way to respond to one another. Women are so emotional that we try to read more into what is said, whether we are right or wrong.
The work we put into trying to understand one another, will go a long way toward helping to ease the transition from mother and child to a strong woman to woman connection.
Writer Bio: Angela Mose
I am a mom of 7 who has successfully homeschooled for 20 years. I was married for more than 25 years and have recently started my life over. I have a passion for writing and music and when the two can be combined, it is utopia. A Maryland native, I am planning to relocate north in the near future and will continue to strive to learn and experience new things on a regular basis. I am fortunate enough to be able to work from home while exploring new ways to increase my knowledge and skills and help improve the lives of those around me.